On Being a Gemini in the Trump Era

You’ve all seen it before. My astrology girlies all know at least two examples of the horror of Gemini off the top of their heads for the most unfortunate–and upsettingly connected–reasons: Kanye and Trump.

But we know it didn’t start there. They are simply emblems of a known truth: All Geminis are evil.

Or at least nightmares to be around.

Definitely two-faced, bipolar, borderline, liars who torment you for fun and think they are better than everyone else. Gemini: the charismatic despot. Now we have the grandest evidence!

The Origins of Gemini Slander

Before we get much further, yes, I know it isn’t that serious. I don’t think I’m on the receiving end of some deep institutional injustice when people scoff at Geminis, I don’t think it’s a “real” issue in and of itself, though I absolutely do think people hold the belief genuinely.

And that’s dangerous.

Passive acceptance is dangerous too. The normalization and universalization of general distaste for somewhere near 1/12th of the population, is pretty weird, at least. And before you other unwanted signs complain, I know us Geminis aren’t the only ones: looking at you, Scorpio.

Frankly, there’s no statistical analysis, no data-driven report I have, or care to research on attitudes toward Geminis circulating online. It’s more of a feeling, and sure, maybe it’s the victim complex getting to me, but a few high-profile Geminis have helpfully provided crystalized versions of the worst feelings about us.

This article from Nylon puts it bluntly right in the title: “A Tribute to Gemini, The Low-Key Psychopath of the Zodiac. Geminis are icons who inspire “cultish devotion”, the sign tied to the worst Stans and hate mobs. Even when admitting the good qualities of the sign, the article still presents Trump as the prototypical Gemini. He is the shining orange light representing what we are when turned up to the highest setting. The true, pure nature of the Gemini is made of self-tanner and vitriol.

What Really Is Western Astrology Anyway?

Fake, for one thing. And not in the annoying, online secularist “boohoo I don’t like any sign of metaphysics” way.

As astrologer Alice Sparkly Kat points out in their book Post-Colonial Astrology, astrology “has been aesthetically connected with classicalism and the manufactured memory of Roman idealism.” It is revived alongside the Roman mythos that the Western world claims, a version of the Roman Empire that never existed but is built to reproduce myths of White superiority.

Astrology, when understood as the building blocks of our lives and personalities, universalizes a version of Greco-Roman philosophy as a form of ultimate truth. The West is a myth held on the foundation of the Greco-Roman aesthetic turned to ultimate truth, at least about ourselves and each other, through astrology.

The Taylor Swift Phrenology Incident

You may have seen the following screenshots side-by-side before.

(Forget about the horse vibe…flat fishy face? Maybe this post should be for the Pisceses.)

Dingdongyouarewrong, excellent points! Now, maybe phrenology feels a little too far for this tweet. But if the thing that defines who you are and what your life looks like defines what you look like, then doesn’t that mean that what you look like and what you will and can be are one?

Astrology is a complex interplay of factors that we utilize to tell stories about ourselves and each other. It is important when we tell ourselves these stories that we remember the breadth and depth and don’t give into belief in sterilized, typified versions of ourselves built entirely on the moment of our birth, stars producing our personalities in the shapes of our skulls. Don’t let yourself believe in stripped-down, single stories.